I miss the ocean. Not the beach…I’m not into the whole South Padre/South Beach/Hunnington Beach scene. I mean the ocean, like miles out at sea. I miss being out there on the ocean. To me a perfect morning would be on a ship. Waking up before dawn, grabbing a warm mug of coffee. Black coffee…straight cup of joe. It’s just a little chilly so sweats, and a ballcap work for the morning attire. Sitting in the fog at the bow of the ship waiting for little glimmer of light to shine on the eastern horizon. You can feel how fast the ship is going. The waves crashing below. You feel so small compared to the sea…the world. You feel so far away from your everday problems. Then your problems seem so frivilous compared to how big the world is and how you are such a small part of it. And at the same time you feel like you can do anything. It hard to explain…you feel so humble compared to the ocean, but confident like you’re a part of it. Yeah, I really want to go sailing…soon.

This January I’ll be in the Eastern Caribbean for a week….on the new Celebrity Solstice with my family. Hopefully I’ll be able to go out again during Spring Break. I’m coutning down the days.

I miss fishing too. I guess nobody would think so, but I love fishing. My dad and I would fish all the time when my great aunt lived at her old house. Her house was on the Tennessee River, literally. We just walked down the pier there and would look out…I would just sit there all day. Usually my dad and I would get up around 5 or 6 and fish. That is one of my favorite memories with my dad. I loved when we’d catch a fish…I was afraid at first, but I loved taking the fish off the hook. I know, weird. But I always loved getting dirty playing outside as a kid. You know it was a good day if your mom had to spray you down with a hose before you could go inside. Anyways, dad and I caught mostly bass. We’d also drink coffee when we’d fish. I wanted to be like him so asked, at the age of 8, if I could drink coffee. He said only if I drank it black, he said that was the only way a real man drinks coffee. So I grabbed the mug, and that’s how I drink it now. Of course I love all the other kinds of coffee which I usually order, but a straight black coffee always brings back good memories. We always joke about how “the man”.

My brother learned to sail when he went to school in Florida. Maybe if I had been a guy, I would have been interested in the maritime academy…lol. We did some sailing together in Curacao. But it would be nice to sail again sometime. Maybe he’ll get his own schooner one day, or something.

I hope one day where ever I end up living, it’s near the ocean. Growing up near the ocean, all of our family cruises, and fishing and spending time on the lake with family, has really made me fall in love with the sea. When I was younger, if anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up it was a mermaid. I just wanted to live in the water. Well, maybe if I audition for Disney they’ll let me be Ariel. Wouldn’t that be funny? Or maybe I’ll audition to dance on a cruise line. Who knows? There are a ton of things I love…which can be confusing…but the ocean is definitely up there.

I can’t stop talking about water. Is that a bad thing? I just want to go. Somewhere. Anywhere.

On Sunday, we had someone else preach at my church…our regular pastor was on vacation. His sermon discussed an “extreme makeover” on a person’s character. For the past few weeks, since I’ve been home and visiting family, I have really been soul searching. I mean, lately, I’ve just really been thinking about who I am, who I’ve been, what I’ve done, and what I want to be. But that’s my problem I don’t know what I want. And in order to get anywhere in life you have to have a goal. And so not knowing what I want in life has really been frustrating me. It’s just confusing, but my grandmother says that is all just a part of growing up. “Following your heart, and God will put everything into place.” So that leads me to the sermon. The preacher was talking about changing your heart and eight characteristics towards a sort of “new life”.

1.) Compassion- meaning that feeling deep inside you towards others

2.) Kindness- the Bible says kindess is like a mellow, sweet wine; kindess and truth go hand in hand…you cannot tell the truth withour kindness, and you cannot be kind without being truthful

3.) Humility- basically God as God; you cannot do everything in your own power; self-effeciency=pride

4.) Gentleness/Meekness- strength under control, not to be confused with weakness

5.) Patience- slow to anger, patience can be viewed as a theraputic workout and God is your personal trainer

6.) Bearing one Another- to lift up, put up with, or hold yourself back from; encouragement through fellowship

7.) Forgiveness- unconditionally, leave it and never bring it up again, as modeled after Christ

8.) Love- the perfect bond of unity, let love be the “umpire” of your life

So, I still don’t know what I want in life, but I do know who God wants me to be. If I can just hold his words in my thoughts, and follow my heart I will then be who I want to be…that is, what He wants me to be.

I am in love…with a watch. The other day I was at the jewelry store which I tend to do every few weeks for fun. And I put on the most beautiful Rolex. It’s called Oyster Perpetual Datejust. Silver bracelet with rose gold in the center and around the dial, the dial is black mother of pearl with rose gold hands and rose gold roman numeral. It’s sooo pretty! But it is $7,025….won’t be wearing it any time soon unfortunately. So I think I’m going to get a rose gold and brown watch from fossil, which is really pretty but about $6,050 less. That’s all, just had to tell of my dream watch. One day…

      So….this summer has allowed me to visit family, take two online classes that I just want to be done with, clean out my room about three times, and eat way too much. So…I have to decided to get crafty during my spare time which is in fact a lot of time. I’m going to the fabric store tomorrow and I am so excited. When I was younger I was super-crafty. I taught myself how to cross-stitch and make clothes for my American Girl dolls and skirts and dresses for myself. Now I think I want to make…a taffeta silk dress, a blue and brown toile teddy bear, maybe some Christmas stockings, and maybe a big bag. Yep.

     Gosh, I miss dancing so much. By the end of last semester all I wanted to do was just go home and see my folks. I have visited family which was great, but that is all I have done and I really want just dance!

     Well, I have done some artistic stuff…I’m making crafts! haha. I actually have been trying to work on a choreography idea. What’s so hard is that I came up with the choreography before anything else. I guess I could do it in silence, but I don’t think people would get it. So I got some music from Kronos Quartet. The inspiration or what exactly what the piece is about I’m not sure….the music sounds like rain or maybe someone running through rain are swimming fast through water. So costumes ideas are hard too, although I did have a cool and more so weird idea…green like celadon. Or nude-ish colors with hints of green. See, on my way home from Alabama we came through this horrible, horrible thunderstorm…I mean scary. But in the center the sun was trying to peep through the super dark clouds and reflected on the rain making this celedon green with hints of gray. No joke, it looked like the sky was bruised. But yet, it was so pretty…I just had to stare at it. Then I got out my ipod and played the music….it made so much sense in my head. We’ll see if all this makes sense or not when YCS comes up again.

      Ok so I just looked up green sky, and it’s true. Before hail storms the coulds can appear green. The sun is reflected through the raindrops, hail, and clouds making it look green. It also indicates tornadoes. Hm… I’m wanting to do a pas with a sort of increase in motion and emotions, like the music. It’s hard to explain. Like a sense of hopelessness, but motivation is still really strong.

     Well, I guess I could call my piece Celadon Sky. Kind of weird…whatever. I’ll make it pretty. lol

The Look

Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in he fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon’s kiss was lost in jest,
Robin’s lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin’s eyes
Haunts me night and day.

                              –Sara Teasdale (1884-1933)                              

Every since I was a little girl I would read this poem my grandmother cross-stitched for me that would hang in my room in light blue threading. I just loved it, but I lost it after a few years in one of my moves. But she later gave me an old book of poems from her mother and lo and behold the very first page had this poem on it, but it says the author was Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Who knows? It’s a good poem and has made an impression on me.

After visiting my grandmother, I started thinking of weddings…well, only because she gave me a ton of wedding magazines because someone in our family was going to get married and they were getting ideas and such. So I got all the big bridal books and thumbed through them on the way home. I think I’ve got a great idea for what I would want. Imagine:

The dress is just like Sandra Bullocks wedding dress but not crossed back and a little lower. I love the lace, neckline, and straps she had. The cake is different flavors inside each layer starting with dark chocolate on the bottom and red velvet on the top. The themed colors are orange, deep reds, and browns since it would be nice in October. Or blues and yellows if it’s in April. Instead of a rehearsal dinner there will be a country breakfast in a barn with home cooking. The ring is a simple design from tacori. Platinum band with a princess cut diamond and small lacey embellishments on the side. The wedding band is platinum wth a few diamonds on top from tiffany’s. Ceremony in a church with lots of windows or actually outside. Reception in a large southern home, then honeymoon in Scotland.

Yep, I have way too much time on my hands! I’m really bored.

Anyways, those been my thoughts for the day.

Sincerely,

the Captain

Summer days are gone too soon…

        I can honestly say that Alabama is my home. I was born in Mobile and was raised there until I was seven. Most of my mother’s family lives in Mobile and most of my father’s family lives outside of Birmingham or outside of Atlanta. Those are my roots. This past week I’ve been visiting with my Granny and indulging myself in some southern hospitality-filled summer fun and relaxation.

        Granny’s place is a grey blue two-story house on a hill with a large front veranda and a small back garden and pool. The veranda is your typical southern-style front porch with rocking chairs lining the sides and ferns hung about the structure. From the car to the front door, the air is not only filled with the usual mosquitoes, but a light scent of gardenias which line the sides of the house. After a loud, warm welcome and several hugs, the kitchen is the first stop before unpacking. Passing the living room, which has a newly decorated honey-beige theme, I saw the hideous blue recliner my Grumpy will not let us get rid of. Grumpy is my grandfather and is really a sweetheart, but because he is always grumpy and stubborn we named him such.

        The first thing we do is eat! Any true southerner knows that food=love. Corn bread, fried catfish, fried okra, turnip greens, and ending with apple pie equals a lot of love in my family. Some of my favorite dishes at home usually include seafood. Because we live so close to the gulf and seafood is my favorite genre of food, I always go to this great seafood restaurant on the water looking out into the bay. One time we were there, a huge thunderstorm came, and we watched the sea and waves rock up close to the floor-to-ceiling windows. The lighting was so close, and the poor birds outside couldn’t fly against the wind. However, soon as it had started it was over. I love the seafood and thunderstorms here. I loved that day.

Grumpy and I have a tradition of going to the oyster bar and eating raw oysters. You sit there as the guy cracks open the shells and you cover the oyster in cocktail sauce and slurp them down. I have a record of having eaten 36 oysters, but that was a long time ago. A dozen is good for me now. So good! Then we go to Old Dutch and finish off eating banana splits at the oldest ice cream parlor in town. I say we have a great tradition.

yum yum…at Wentzill’s Oyster House

        Sports are an important part of my family. I am not sports-inclined whatsoever—which is why I dance and love the arts, but I like to hang out with my family and watch some of the well…cuter players. What can I say? Haha. My dad’s side of the family is all into football and soccer. If the Tennessee Volunteers are playing you will not be able to watch anything else in the house. My mom’s side of the family—more so Granny—loves golf and baseball. She loves to watch Tiger. I like Lee Westwood. And we both watch the Atlanta Braves and love Jeff F. Next week, I am going to my first Braves game in Atlanta with my cousins and I am so excited!

        Much of who I am is related to Alabama. Although I love city life, it’s always nice to go home to family and remember good times and make new good times. Alabama to me is really a far away place compared to my day-to-day life, but every time I leave here I have a better since of who I am and who I want to be. Maybe it’s the long, deep life talks with Granny on the back deck. Or maybe its gaining patience by listening to Grumpy complain about “those young people”. Maybe it’s all the fried seafood that adds a few more pounds to my character. Who knows? Everything just seems better when you’re with the ones you love—your roots.

         Annie Leibovtiz is world-renown photographer who has been called upon by Disney to photograph magical images for Disney’s continuation of the Year of a Million Dreams. For the 2007 campaign, she did three different images which were released throughout the year. The first being of Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella, David Beckham as Prince Phillip, and finally Beyonce as Alice. She then continued with a spread with Whoppi Goldberg as the Genie, Giselle Bundchen as Wendy Darling and Mikhail Baryshnikov as Peter Pan and Tina Fey as Tinkerbell, then Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony as Jasmine and Aladdin, and finally Jessica Biel as Pocahontas. For the 2008 campaign she has used tennis athlete Roger Federer as King Arthur, Rachel Weisz as Snow White, and Julie Andrews as the Blue Fairy and Abigail Breslin as a fairy. The newest photograph released in April 2008 includes Julianne Moore as Ariel and swimming athlete Michael Phelps as a merman. There is another photo soon to be released featuring Drew Barrymore as Belle.The latest news on these photos can be found at disneyparks.com/dreamportraits

Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella. “Where every Cinderella story comes true.”

David Beckham as Prince Phillip. “Where imagination saves the day.”

Beyonce as Alice. “Where Wonderland is your destiny.”

Whoopi Goldberg as the Genie. “Where every wish is our command.”

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony as Jasmine and Aladdin.

“Where a whole new world awaits.”

Giselle Bundchen as Wendy Darling, Tina Fey as Tinkerbell, and Mikhail Baryshnikov as Peter Pan.

“Where you never have to grow up.”

Jessica Biel as Pocahontas. “Where Dreams Run Free.”

Roger Federer as King Arthur. “Where you’re always king of the court.”

Rachel Weisz as Snow White. “Where you’re the fairest of all.”

Julie Andrews as Blue Fairy and Abigail Breslin as young fairy. “Where magic begins.”

Julianne Moore as Ariel and Michael Phelps as Merman.

*Not yet released*

Drew Barrymore as Belle.

 Reflection:

Today is the last day for me to be a teenager. Tomorrow morning at 8:53 am I will be 20 years old. I probably will always feel like I’m 8 or 9. I still say things like, “when I grow up.” Now that I will no longer be a teenager it’s becoming clear to me how close that “grown-up” time is. Maybe it’s from watching too many Disney movies, reading too many stories, or having an over-active imagination, but isn’t being a “grown-up” just a state of mind? Why do we have to grow up? I’m not talking about maturity and responsibilities because those characteristics are necessary for life. I’m talking about keeping that young and passionate view on life. Believing in those things you can’t see. Knowing that all your dreams will come true and there is a happily ever after at the end of the rainbow. There is so much you can learn from all those old fairy tales from childhood. Every hero has his villain. Every prince finds his princess. Every poor and humble boy or girl finds his or her riches. There were lessons we learned through their adventures, and yet, when we “grow-up” we forget these principles. As we age our hurdles and burdens become more challenging, but the same principles we learned in childhood still apply. Bravery, loyalty, hope, friendship, love, humility, honesty, and kindness. I know, it sounds corny, but seriously it’s amazing how quickly we forget such simple ideals. These morals apply to everyone no matter how “grown-up” you think you may be.

As a sort of pre-party to my birthday, I celebrated with my Dad today since he will be flying tomorrow and will not be able to be home for my actual birthday which is tomorrow.  I’m having a birthday week since my family can’t seem to be together at once. Today’s Dad’s day, this weekend is Andrew, Dad again on Wednesday, then Mom next weekend. But for today…

After I took my ballet class, Dad and I met up at the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. We had the delicious Pasta da Vinci. This dish consists of penne pasta, mushrooms, chicken and a rich madera wine sauce. The wine sauce is the best part of the whole thing….just good amazing yummy yum stuff! I highly recommend it! Then we split the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake which was divine. There’s a reason why “god” is in the title. After lunch we headed to the theater to see the new Chronicles of Narnia- Prince Caspian which we call Narnicles. Narnicles is my name for the movies combining Chronicles and Narnia. J

The movie was great. The first movie I didn’t really care for because it seemed really immature and too kid-friendly. But I was pleasantly surprised with this new one and I cannot wait for the next. I read the books when I was very young, and I love all of the allegorical references by C.S. Lewis. One thing about Prince Caspian is the Dawn Treader, and I thought they were going to film that part. So all through the movie I checked my watch and leaned over to my Dad, “When are they gonna get on the boat? I want to see the boat.” Later this afternoon, I looked up the filming schedule and lo and behold the next movie is “Voyage of the Dawn Treader.” The film has been delayed since the younger actors have not had a break, therefore production doesn’t start until the end of this summer ( 2008 ) and will open in theaters May 7, 2010.

 Ben Barnes who plays Prince Caspian is just adorable. Talk about knight in shining armor. But apart from him, which was hard since he’s so darn cute and distracting, the story was much more progressive which kept the movie going with a good, constant energy. It was a very good family movie, meaning children could watch it, teenagers would stay engaged, and parents wouldn’t have a splitting headache afterwards. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I love to watch horse races. I’m not a betting person, but I love to see the horses and hear about their stories. The other day I watched it on ESPN all day. Here are pictures of the Royal Ascot…I absolutely love the hats and fashion too!

Marvel Productions has been responsible for the many recent comic book-inspired, big-screen productions such as the Hulk, Ghost Rider, and the more recent Iron Man. Now they intend to expand their entertainment horizons by placing their heroes and villains in a new venue—the Great White Way.

 He swings from building to building fighting crime, and now he sings? Spiderman, which is already deep into readings and rehearsals, will soon be on Broadway. The director Julie Taymor has directed many other theater and big-screen productions, such as The Lion King on Broadway, as well as her recent big-screen musical Across the Universe. Jim Sturgess, the leading man in Across the Universe, has had huge success this past year in films, and Taymor has taken notice. According to Men’ Vogue May 2008 issue, he has been officially cast as Peter Parker. The music and lyrics will be composed by Bono and the Edge of U2, hopefully bringing a serious, rocker vibe to the show and less campy.

If Spiderman does become a success, it will definitely change the audiences of Broadway musical productions. It will allow for a larger spectrum of audiences. The Spiderman fans may come to appreciate what is considered a “high-brow” art form, and Broadway’s regular attendees may come to appreciate the stories of superheroes as an art form and start frequenting comic book shops.

Either way, I and the public will just have to wait for this unexpected and daring debut to see it effects on the theater as we know it.